I know I cannot physically have more children, but does that mean that I am done with this stage in my life? I have prayed and fasted about the decision that Russ & I made to get my tubes tied, and we have both felt that it was a fine decision. However, for the past 18 months, I have continued to weigh other available options, ie: foster care and adoption. Today I watched Juno, by myself, while my children were at school. I was taking a selfish day! And again, the feelings of wanting more children flooded me. I read my patriarical blessing and didn't find anything outstanding that might help me. The only entry in the blessing, which I always remember, is that I will have a special love of children. Does this mean I should have a ton? Does it mean that I am capable of loving other's children that are brought into my home? Does it just mean that I need a job in the hospital nursery? I don't know. I printed the Application to Care for Children off of the Colorado Dept of Human Services website and sent an email to the foster care coordinator. I am sure that Russ will not support any of this nonsense, but I guess I am just exploring my options further. In fact, there was a family of 7 in Utah on the website, waiting for adoption, ages 20mo-14years and I thought to myself, "wouldn't that be so great to help these kids and fun to have a family jump from 6 to 13?" Who thinks like that???
at 1:45 PM